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Saturday, August 15, 2015

Hiatus.

Where do I start? So as you already know, I am pregnant. I have been battling with hormonal issues throughout the pregnancy and well...you guessed it, they haven't stopped. I had little baby Lilly on July 28, 2016 weighing 6 pounds and 1 ounce. No, she was not premature, she is, as most of my family is, skinny. It has been nearly three weeks since her glorious arrival and as of a week ago, I had to make the very hard confession that I felt nothing towards her. The magical "bond" of mother and child never happened and I had waited two weeks. I knew this was wrong, heck, I was more emotional about having no emotions towards her, or for that matter anyone at all. I cried more thinking about how the only thing I felt was obligation to feed and change her but nothing else.  I knew I ran a high chance of postpartum depression, but I hadn't quite prepared for this.

I tell you this for two reasons. The first is to banish any thoughts that postpartum is anything like normal depression, it isn't, or rather, it isn't like that for everyone. The second reason is to explain why I haven't been on and why I will be taking a year off of writing to all of you lovely readers. I will come back in August 2016. I might take time out here and there to write a review for some of my big hitters through this next year, but for the most part, I will be taking time to focus on my relationship with my family. I have worked hard over this past summer to keep on track for my graduation schedule and *fingers crossed* I should be graduating from Texas A&M in Corpus Christi by December of 2016.

For those who requested photos upon arrival: (Yes that is my belly with NO Photoshop, only turned black and white)







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